Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Beard Lords Shine Down On Man Beard Blog (Before We Kill You)

That is a screen cap of Pharyngula featuring an image from 300. In other words, Man Beard PZ is pimping Man Beard Leonidas. That is some highly concentrated Man Beardity. In honor of this event, Man Beard Blog offers this humble poem.

May your beard always bristle.
and your balls always hang low.
May your weapon always drip with fresh blood.
and your blog always be updated with creative brilliance.
May your kings provide you with bounty before you slaughter them
unless your king is King Leonidas, in which case may he slaughter you mercifully.
May every day be like today
where Man Beards love each other freely.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Man Beard Progess: my buddy Dave

The Brice Lord continues making progress towards Man Beard status. As has been previously reported, he has shown signs of strength in several Man Beard categories, including beardedness, artistic creativity, and fag-stomping (his Moroccan boyfriend is often covered in bruises).

Now, a previously unreleased photo reveals that Dave is making noise in another Man Beard discipline, piracy.

Shortly after this picture was taken, Dave killed the guy with his back to the camera with a rusty cutlass and then drank a flaggon of rum. YARRR!!

Look at him, gazing off into the distance across the high seas, booty on the brain no doubt. His drunken, violent outbursts on the high seas are legendary in many coastal townships. Unfortunately it wasn't captured in this picture but the shirtless Sith Lord seated next to him has a wooden peg-leg, so it is clear that Dave keeps company with swarthy sea dogs who might also harness the dark side of the Force while weighing 112 pounds. Piracy-by-association is treated as a valid concept under Man Beard Blog bylaws. There are no existing bylaws regarding Sith-by-association, but the piracy formulation is regarded as solid precedent. Further investigation into Dave's own Lordship might render Sith-by-association a non-issue if Brice Lords are actually an obscure class of Sith Lords.

There have also been quiet rumors that Dave has been involved in a shocking feat of regicidal irrational exuberance. To protect our sources, Man Beard Blog cannot elaborate on the details at this time, however there is rampant speculation that if these rumors are substantiated, Brice Lord could immediately vault himself into the Man Beard pantheon. Stay tuned!