Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Talk like a Pirate

Here at Man Beard Blog, we love pirates. I'd refer you to this post for a full explanation, not that loving pirates requires explanation, but the connection to Man Beard Blog is this:

Being a pirate is about more than just being in a group of bearded people and it is more than a richly rewarding career or an enviable lifestyle choice (though it certainly is all of those things). Piracy is a kind of Man-Beardness, and because of that it follows that piracy is Man Beardness*.
Because of the passionate love affair between Man Beard Blog and piracy, we wish to honor pirates by noting that today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

We think that it is wonderful that there is such a day, but unfortunately we have no idea what it means to have a day to talk like a pirate. The concept eludes us completely.

You know how sometimes you visit some weird place and everyone talks with a funny accent, but then when you talk normally, suddenly they tell you that you have an accent? And you're all like "what the fuck, I don't have an accent, you have the accent you creepy little shit." I think that's what International Talk Like a Pirate Day is like for us here at Man Beard Blog.

Emulating fierce and fearsome Man Beards of the high seas is a lifestyle for us, an every day occurrence. We don't really need a special day for it, but in some abstract way we recognize that others might.

I think that's why people don't like it when we visit them. They probably think we're about to rape their women and plunder their booty. Which of course we are. We're Man Beard Blog, you creepy little shit, what do you think we're here for, the pleasure your company? Our beards are the only company we need. Go fetch me some rum and your filthiest wench!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Shaqbeard? Do it!

If The Big Aristotle devotes himself to bearding the way The Real Aristotle did, Man Beard Blog will devote 11 consecutive posts on 11 consecutive days to the glory of the Shaqbeard.

Do you hear that, Diesel? I know you've received many honors for basketballing and crime-fighting and weight-loss, but have you ever been featured in 11 consecutive Man Beard Blog posts? That's right. So grow a fucking awesome Shaqbeard and wear it for this whole season.

Man up.

Beard down.