Monday, December 25, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
When I was first contacted by a female emissary from the Phillips Norelco legion of darkness, I was naturally wary. As the founder of Man Beard Blog, the Internet's premier source of Beard Wisdom, I've grown accustomed to being a high profile target for the forces of hairlessness. Her offer of a free Bodygroom device for review on my site seemed harmless on its bald face, but I've conditioned myself to treat all friendliness from bald faces as a likely trap.
As I was trying to decide which orifice to suggest that this devil-woman make the final resting place of her nefarious anti-beard device, my years devoted to the study of Man Warfare "kicked in" as I remembered the wise words of the immortal fighting Man Beard, Chuck Norris:
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer... that way they're always within your roundhouse kick radius."
I admit I felt rather squeamish about accepting the offer from this representative of http://shaveeverywhere.com/ but I realized that it was my duty to the Man Beard Blog community to conduct and disseminate high-level intelligence on the enemy. I decided that I must study the weapon of my foes, so better to know and defeat them.
Inspecting your opponent's sword is one thing, but actually using it on yourself is another, and a step that I knew I'd be unable to take. So I did what the industrious corporate Man Beards do when they need a dirty job done but don't want to do it themselves.
I took on an intern.
Brian had already made his approval of manscaping a matter of public record, and he's an established facial hair enthusiast. While Man Beard Blog cannot condone the former practice (aside from the obvious conflict between hair removal and beard growing, this level of attentiveness to personal grooming sounds a little gay and we all know that Man Beards stomp queers) we begrudgingly admit the need for help from someone with his expertise in this area, and must admit that his infectious enthusiasm for beards of all shapes and sizes is mysteriously endearing.
I hope everyone establishes the appropriate atmosphere of making Brian feel welcome here in his new role while also constantly reminding him of his obvious lack of Man Beard-ness.
Good work on your first assignment, Brian the Intern. And by the way... eeeewwwww!
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Due to the overwhelming popularity of Man Beard Blog, we were recently asked to review the new Philips Norelco Bodygroom and share our opinions with our readers. As an experienced manscaper and self proclaimed body hair expert, I was anxious to receive the electronic device and begin testing.
I did not have to wait long, as less than 48 hours later I had the ergonomically designed electric razor in hand and was ready to put it to the test.
I was pleasantly surprised when I opened the package, pushed the button and the razor turned on. Less than 30 seconds and I went from holding a FedEx overnight box to eliminating unwanted body hair. It is nice when rechargable electronics come charged. There is nothing worse than getting a present that you really wanted only to find out you have to charge it for 8 hours to use the thing. Not the Bodygroom, the folks at Norelco are better than that.
The cordless trimmer comes with 3 attachments, and from my previous clipping experience I knew that these were intended to control the length to which the follicle was cut. Feeling crazy, I first snapped on the "2" piece and raised my right arm. This is where things got hairy. Armpit hair, especially that has been in a long sleeve shirt under a lowered arm all day, tends to be less coarse than hair on other parts of the body. This was immediately giving me trouble with the razor. It seemed to be combing my armpit hair more than cutting it. The actual cutting blades are not large, and are hidden deep under the attachment. So I felt like each swipe of the Bodygroom was removing only the first few hairs it confronted. Then those hairs were clogging the cutting area and preventing the other hairs from entering the cutting zone. I thought that if I switched to the shorter “1” attachment that the problem would be reduced. It wasn’t, as I was still struggling to cut the hair. I will say that I have had this trouble with underarm hair before. I have a three other devices and have had the same problem with all three. So it is possible that it’s not the cutting instrument, it’s me. Needless to say, when I removed the clip and went with the zero I was more successful in removing the hair from under my arm. Then I realized that at no point did I ever intend to remove all the hair from under my arm. Ouch. Not good so far, Bodygroom. On to my chest hair…
Luckily for the BG I don’t have much hair on my chest nor do I want any. Since the clips were already removed, using the BG to remove all the hairs was simple. One of the best features is that it has a cutting edge on both sides. This feature is nullified when using an attachment. However, on level zero the user is able to cut hair on both strokes for an increased rate of hair removal. This took much less time than cutting in the first zone mentioned.
The last area that I attempted to trim was my groin area. PS I have never refered to or heard anyone refer to pubic hair as groin area hair. I honestly felt like this is what the BG was made to do. I found that the hair in this location had a different texture that allowed it to be cut much more efficiently with the design of the BG. I started with the level 3 attachment and noticed that the hair was not being clogged as in area 1. In fact it was just the opposite, I felt like Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands. It was only a matter of minutes before I moved down to level 2 and re-cut.
It was in region 3 that I really appreciated the shape of the product. Historically, I have issues due to my angle of attack and relative location of the hair to my hands. I had no trouble positioning the cutting machine and I was hacking away. I feel like I was able to remove hair that I was previously unable to reach. I was also able to put the razor in areas that I normally would not place a cutting device. This is because of the position of the cutting blades relative to the attachments. I did not feel like I was at risk for cutting myself. To explain more clearly, all forms of clippers involve some sort of blade. In most cases, this means two teeth shaped metal blades on top of one another. When the blades vibrate or move, the hairs in between the teeth are cut by the teeth of the other blade. This works well to cut hair, however, it also cuts anything that enters between the two blades. Region 3 is an area that is not as smooth as your back and the tension in your skin isn’t always as consistent. Without getting into too much detail, I have injured myself before and am always very careful to make sure it doesn’t happen again. With the BG it was not a concern. I would be foolish to say it couldn’t happen, but with the design I don’t think I came close to cutting myself.
I performed all of this hair removal in the shower to contain the hairs. One of the worst things about removing body hair is my inability to control where it goes after removal. There are very few things as gross as finding tiny hair pieces all over the bathroom for days. Like grabbing your retainer on your way to bed and finding tiny pieces of dark hair. This is when you try not to think about what region it is from, until you taste what you think is Gold Bond and can no longer fall asleep.
Anyways, in the shower I was able to contain and then vacuum (because I never turned on the water) all of the hairs. The box says that the BG can be used wet or dry, so during future body maintenance I may try using it while showering. I just wouldn’t recommend it if you are going to be removing a decent amount of hair or else your drain will probably get clogged.
After I stepped out of the shower I removed the cutting blade (I think it is supposed to be easily removable, otherwise I broke it already…) and cleanup was a breeze. It was just then that I noticed there was a mesh screen between the two blades. I own an electric razor (although I don’t use it much either) and I know the foil on the top of the BG was for removing very short pieces of hair. I concluded that this hypoallergenic foil was to complete the hair removal process, if you were looking for complete hair removal. Since I am not filming any adult movies anytime soon, I had no desire to use this feature anywhere on my body… except my face. Without thinking I turned the BG back on and began rubbing the razor all over my face. Having just shaved with a normal razor this morning I had very little hair to cut. However, what little stubble that I had was removed by the BG. Next time I should go from face to the rest of my body, as opposed to from region 3 to my face. That was entirely my fault though.
After I finished shaving, I reviewed the packaging and the website and I noticed that this product is not advertised as a facial razor. That reinforced my thoughts, that it cut shorter and more coarse hair more effectively. While it was able to cut facial hairs, that is not what it is born to do. vI felt that it performed best in region 3. This is probably not a surprise to the creators of the project, but I could see how they may have trouble pitching a male private part razor.
Overall, I would give the Bodygroom a thumbs up. I found that it outperformed all of the other products I have used for the same purpose, removing hair from the groin region. Further, it was very easy and fun to use, without compromising performance or safety. I think it would make a good present for any boyfriend or brother, in particular if they are between the ages of 18 and 40 and are troubled with unwanted hair in their most personal regions.
If you are interested, you can purchase one here.A special thanks to Melanie for providing Man Beard Blog the opportunity to review this new product!