Monday, August 21, 2006

Snakes on a Man Beard

A Man Beard doesn't sneak around and try to be something he's not. He just comes right out and tells you what he is, usually by way of the visual spectacle adorning his face. After all, a beardless man can always wear a fake beard, but it is pretty damn hard for a Man Beard in full regalia to appear clean-shaven.

And a Man Beard doesn't apologize for what he is either. He doesn't give a shit if you like him or not. A Man Beard is comfortable in his own skin (unless his skin is surrounded by poisonous snakes). A Man Beard is always rated R, even when its production studio tries to make it into a PG beard, because a Man Beard will get all the beard blogs to rally for more T&A and profanity. Man Beards love T&A and profanity.

Snakes on a Plane is like the Man Beard of movies. Aside from its in-your-face beardesque title, SoaP has everything a Man Beard wants in a movie: snakes, planes, Samuel L. Jackson, as well as beardloads full of gratuitous nudity, violence and F-Bombs.

Plus at the end there's a music video featuring Sam Motherfuckin' Jackson with a sweet black and white beard. Oh and Julianna Margulies is on the plane too. She's ok I guess.

5 comments:

Eric said...

Could you imagine if snakes could grow beards? If the were possible there is no way this movie could get made, it would be to awesome for normal viewers.

Brian said...

Dear Man Beard Blog,

i loved this post. I especially loved Aside from its in-your-face beardesque title

Keep up the good work.

Love
Brian

Brian said...

I also keep laughing at the title of the post. Genuis.

Mike said...

I personnally enjoy the term "beardloads" if you think that I'm not working that into my everyday vocab then you have another thing coming. Prepare yourself for beardloads of beardloads coming out of my mouth. Of course, I'll credit Man Beard Blog.

JW said...

Mike

I have YET to hear you say beardloads