Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Man Beard News - fear the bearded!

Man Beard Pirate Professor PZ Myers is on yet another deicidal rampage. Man Beard Blog has concluded that PZ is likely attempting to usurp God as the universe's supreme supernatural force, possibly in an effort to raise his Leonidas score (yet to be formally unveiled) by increasing his divinity factor.


Man Beard Man-Child Baller Greg Oden fell short in his quest to become the youngest bearded starting Ohio State center to win the national championship this decade, but only because his beardless teammates weren't able to match his manly efforts. Oden scored 87 points, grabbed 45 rebounds, and blocked 32 shots in a losing effort. Because in sports you're only as strong as your weakest link, Florida was lucky that the rules required Ohio State to field 5 players at all times, otherwise Oden would have played 1 on 5 and easily won the day.


Man Beard Anti-Semite Mel Gibson has taken his irrational exuberance to Denmark, where some low-life beer brewer tried to stifle Gibson's artistic creativity by naming a beer after his movie Braveheart. No word on whether the brewer was a dirty Jew like all of Gibson's other enemies.


Speaking of hating Jews, Man Beard Jew King Jesus will be brutally tortured to death this Friday only to come back to life on Sunday. Hooray! Wait, or did that happened in some book from a million years ago but people think it was real? Sometimes we get confused. Either way, Jesus stomps queers big time!

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