We've covered a lot here at Man Beard Blog, but there is still a beardload of bearded man-goodness out there that needs to be blogged.
We all know the equation:
MAN + BEARD + BLOG = MAN BEARD BLOG
But beyond that simple arithmetic is a vast and complex world. A world full of men, full of beards, and full of blogs. A world with beard blogs and man blogs. And most importantly, it is a world full of Man Beards. This is where it all comes together. This is Man Beard Blog.
It isn't always easy.
Tonight as I was reclining upon my fine leather couch, contemplating the next Man Beard Blog entry, I decided that there must be a good number of Man Beards who haven't yet been mentioned in this nascent offering. If this blog was a beard, it would still be a five o'clock shadow. I decided that in order to promote this blog to genuine stubble status, I need to enshrine the greatest remaining Man Beard.
And right as I decided that, the following 8 things all entered my brain within a fraction of a second. Understand that while they are 8 distinct and sequential thoughts, they all exploded into my head together at once, leaving me cowering in fear.
- How do you decide who is the greatest unmentioned Man Beard?
- There has to be some kind of massive beard-off.
- Aha! A tournament of single-elimination 1 on 1 beard-offs!
- Nah, that would be way too much effort.
- Let's just figure out who would be the finalists of the beard-off.
- For the salty love of all beards, this must be.
- Oh fuck, this is impossible.
And that is when I realized that no answer is the answer. You just can't pit Sean Connery against Chuck Norris. The mere idea is simply too much for the human mind to comprehend, and we're all better off if we just let it go.